When I was a little girl, I was filled with all the self-confidence of the world. But then, things started to change. I started encountering situations where mean things were said to me. I also encountered my fair share of failures. Slowly and slowly, my self-confidence was shattered into pieces. And I had to work really hard to gain that self-confidence. One thing that I learned in this process is that self-confidence is a skill, and like any other skill, it can be built if you work on it.
The people that you admire, because they are beaming with self-confidence, didn’t become self-confident in a day. They have trained themselves hard, and the self-confidence that they have is a result of those hard work, of that determination, of that power to say no to failure.
If you are running on low self-confidence, you may have heard people saying to you that “Be Confident!” But the critical question here is how to build that self-confidence. There is no clear-cut recipe to build self-confidence. However, I can tell you about the ingredients. But before that, let us understand what does self-confidence actually mean.
What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence is the belief that you have in yourself to accomplish any task, no matter how difficult the odds are!
How to build self-confidence?
There is no magic button for gaining self-confidence. There is no one answer to the question of how to be confident? Like any other skills, if you train yourself enough, you can become self-confident. Here are few tricks and tips that will help you in becoming a more confident person.
1. Groom yourself
You need to take care of yourself. A presentable look is the easiest shortcut to become and look more confident. When you dress nicely, you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself, automatically, you become self-confident. Just make sure that your dress is neatly ironed, your hair is done properly, accessorize yourself with a smile and you are ready to rock the world!
2. Think positive and know yourself
For many of us, negative self-talk is nothing new. It always keeps running in our head. You need to understand here is that there are already enough people out there who are telling us we cannot do it. And therefore, you do not need to be hard on yourself. Instead of believing your inner critic, prove it wrong. Immediately replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. It is also crucial to analyze your self-talk. It is because thoughts influence action. Start your day with a self-affirmation and work throughout the day to make that self-affirmation a true statement. Self-love is important. Let go of your low self-esteem with positive thoughts and actions.
“Know yourself and you will win all the battles”.
For defeating your enemy, it is important to know the enemy. In your case, you yourself are your enemy. Know yourself, analyze yourself and then work on yourself. Take the required steps to replace your negative self-image with a positive one.
3. Be kind and generous
You must be wondering how being kind and generous will build your self-confidence. Well, the catch here is that when you are kind and generous, you feel good about yourself. You end up realizing that you are a good person. And having a positive thought about yourself is the most important step to build self-confidence.
4. Set a small goal and achieve it
You need to start with setting small and achievable goals. It is only after achieving the small goals that we end up achieving the big goals in your life. Think about your ultimate goal, and divide it into small goals. Achieve those small goals and then work towards achieving the bigger goals. And when you achieve these goals, don’t forget to celebrate them. It is important to celebrate all your accomplishments, no matter how small you think they are!
I can’t stress enough on how crucial it is to exercise. Exercise daily, and you will start seeing change within yourself. Without even noticing, you will develop a positive outlook. And exercising is a keystone habit. When you start exercising, you actually start taking care of the things that you are consuming. You actually start taking caring of yourself. You become more disciplined and the physical and mental transformation that you will get after exercising will act as a catalyst in the entire process of becoming a self-confident person.
6. Empower yourself with knowledge
Knowledge is power. Empowering yourself with knowledge is the best strategy out there to build your self-confidence. By becoming knowledgeable, you will become more confident. Make it a habit to read a book before you hit the bed. You can increase your self-worth with knowledge. With knowledge, you will be able to take the right action, and you will start developing opinions. Never cease to learn. Whether you want to gain the knowledge by actually doing something, by reading a book or by watching a TED talk, doesn’t matter. All that matters is consume knowledge!
7. Clear your desk
The environment that you stay in affects your productivity. Clean your surrounding and create an environment that makes you feel like working.
8. Visualize yourself as you want to be
“What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Struggling with self-confidence means that you have a poor perception of yourself. You need to visualize yourself the way you want to be. Create a vision board and then decide and plan the actions that you need to take to achieve it.
9. Stop comparing yourself with others
Your goal shouldn’t be to become better than some X, Y or Z person. Treat yourself as your biggest competitor. The primary aim should be to become a better version yourself, and the ultimate aim should be to become the best version of yourself. There will be always someone out there who is richer, prettier and smarter than you and similarly, there will be someone who is less intelligent, less attractive and less wealthy than you are. And therefore, there shouldn’t be any comparison because it is irrelevant. Focus on yourself and not on others. Focus on improving your life without comparison!
10. Accept and learn from your mistake
We all make mistakes. When you realize that you have made a mistake, have the guts to accept the mistake gracefully. Apologize for it. What is done is done, you cannot undo it. But after analyzing your mistake, do what you can to make things better and right and avoid making the same mistake again in the future.
11. Fake it till you make it
Do you want to become more self-confident? Just pretend as if you are already self-confident and pretty soon, you will become a self-confident person. However, one thing that you should take care of is that relying only on fakeness won’t do. You have to take the actions to turn that into truth.
12. Body language
Take a course in body language. Your body language shapes you to a large extent. Keep your heap up and walk tall. When you are talking to someone, look into their eyes. When you are speaking, instead of rushing, speak slowly because what you have to say is important too! Keep your body open, don’t hide yourself. And don’t forget to smile!
13. Keep a growth mindset
You can only start working on yourself if you have a growth mindset. You need to know and realize the fact that you can grow, no matter in what stage of life you are. The self-confidence skill can be acquired through commitment and hardwork. Keep yourself open to learning new things and skills. And always take little actions every day to grow in your life.
14. Persistence is the key
Don’t give up the moment you fail. Do not accept failure. Repetition, repetition and repetition, that’s what it takes to acquire a skill. Even after trying n-number of times, if you fail, it simply means that you need to work harder. Be persistent!
15. Be patient with yourself
You cannot become a self-confident person overnight. It has to be nurtured and grown. And the process of becoming a self-confident person will take time. Give that time to yourself to see that change within you.
Face your Fear
For becoming a self-confident person, you will have to step out of your comfort zone. And guess what? People are afraid to step out of their comfort zone. The fear will not automatically disappear; you will have to face it. Don’t wait to become fearless because that will never happen if you simply decide to sit and stare. Act while you still feel the fear because it’s only through action you can become self-confident. Building self-confidence is a journey!
If you do not believe in yourself, no one else will. So, start believing in yourself. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, which will help you to acquire new skills and will help you to grow!
Just a quick revision!